Weirdos

Have you ever thought what we are doing right now is just a dream? What if you think it is a dream but what you did in your dream was actually real? I experienced it. I thought it all was a dream. But it wasn’t, unfortunately not. What i did wasn’t pleasant. I don’t know if what i did was right or wrong. I thought it was all a dream. And then when i really woke up for a bit, i don’t know if it was real or not, apparently it was real. I asked, “did i just say this?” and they said “yeah”. I felt like i was mind-effed. I really didnt know what was happening. Friend said, “dude, you’re f*cked up yo.” His roommate said, “Dont worry you’re not f*cked, you’re doing fine”. I dont know what was happening, i was just lying down cause i was tired and i felt really dizzy.

After this, i really think what is reality? how do you know if you’re dreaming? or is it real?

Apparently it was real. Reality is reality.

What am i doing? I feel like even after I asked her out, nothing’s changed except the fact that she knows i likeher. But really? i feel like we talk more but like i don tkno if what im doing is right or wrong. Should i really go for her? I know there is someone better for her. but i dont know if i should still ask her again im afraid to be rejected again. The last rejections from the person before isnt the best.. well it’s fine now but i know theres still scars. forsure. it’s not cool but meh. right? id ont know what im really trying to say but like what a wise person said to me is you never know ifyou two will go well unless you try it out. whats the harm? my thing is if we dont work out it will be awks. why am i thinking of relationships again?! 

I am not even mature enough for a relationship. I dont know enough. i dont think i am even good enough.i am totally finding excuses not to get into a relationship. Im not ready myself. really.

I need think this over again. Friday. Friday. Friday is when i see her. What am i suppose to do.

I was talking to a friend today and it made my day.

we talked for a long time tbh i was exhausted when we started talking.

but over time, i lost that tiredness and then we talked and talked.

i dont know if it was awks but it’s all good i guess now.

Thank you.